By Tom Nardone
A great man once said, “The Less you expect, the less you will be disappointed”. Many of you know that great man was I, Tom Nardone.
Some people, my wife among them, have expressed that they feel that is a very negative outlook. I cannot understand how they could feel this way. Some of you may feel the same way. Here at I am Tom Nardone, I don’t just say something and ask you to blindly enter my way of thinking. I love and care for you all, and for that reason I am always happy to explain to you why you are wrong, and why I am awesome.
The less you expect the less you will be disappointed is a road map to being happy. So let us begin by identifying what makes us sad.
Sadness occurs when life falls short of our expectations. We go into a job interview and we expect we will get a call. We wait by the phone all day and sadly it does not ring. Then it does ring and it is not who we hoped it would be. I have been there, and had to explain to my family member why I sounded so disappointed when I found out it was them calling. This can be devastating.
On the other hand, a person being home all day who doesn’t expect to get a phone call, will not be driving everybody in the house crazy every time they see us use the phone during this critical time. They are not expecting the call. Life has met their expectations.
These are reasonable expectations. It is extremely hard for someone to not expect a phone call, when they might be in desperate need of a job. I myself was unable to do this.
While my son was in middle school, there was constant drama every day in my home. I would come home from work fully expecting that he had gotten in trouble, and there would have to be some family meeting where he would feed me a bunch of bullshit. Normally that did not happen, and I would be pleasantly surprised. Imagine how upset I would be if I expected a peaceful home and walked into a damn warzone.
There are people on this planet who expect their favorite football team to win every game. They leave no room for the chance that they could possibly lose. They watch intently as their team is being bitch-slapped around the field for four straight quarters. The game then ends and they are not only disappointed but, crushed. These particular people have two problems. one, there expectations were way higher than what life brought them, and two, these people are a bunch of assholes. (more on that when football season begins)
There are things in your life that you want to achieve. You might be one of those people who set goals for yourself. You might even be a student of Tony Robins, and you write your goals down. Goals can lead to disappointment as well. Some people are way overly serious about their goals. Maybe you have met this guy.
I have SET a goal it is a firm and stern metric that I plan on hitting no matter the cost. It is do or die and I swear to god I will destroy the son of a bitch who stands between me and my goals, and then I will feast on their flesh, and shit them into the river.
For a better understanding I have spent a great deal of time preparing this Graph. I would like to dedicate this graph to my very good friend at “Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants” who also happens to be awesome, and a lover of blog art.
Notice in the above graph that life is constant. I know that there are ups and downs but we cannot control it so it will be displayed as constant. Expectations on the other hand can be controlled so we will show them at varying levels. Here is what I want you to notice.
While life is constant it begins with our expectations being very high. This causes an increase in the “Sadness Envelope”. As our level of expectation goes down the Sadness Envelope gets smaller. Then we see something amazing happen. When our level of expectation drops below what life has delivered to us we see the start of the Happiness Envelope. We then see, as you might expect, a larger level of happiness when our expectations are at the lowest.
Goals that people set hover over them and put stress on them. Don’t we have enough to worry about without this self-inflicted shit looming over us too?
So am I saying that we should wander through life with no goals, or expectations? Hell No I am not. There are things in this world that are just more important than our happiness. Parents with kids, when it comes to their well-being, well, screw your happiness. When it is time and get up and take your ass to the job that feeds and houses your family, screw your happiness. We should challenge ourselves and we should try to make ourselves happier.
When I started this blog, I had goals. There are things I would like to have as a result of this website. I want my awesomeness to span the globe. I want people to hear the name Tom Nardone, and think to themselves “is awesome”. I want a parade in my honor and all of my posts put to music and to be sang by millions. I want a thirty foot statue, made of solid gold in my likeness to be erected in front of the WordPress home office, and I want my face on the one dollar bill, but I don’t expect it.
I think we all should have goals hopes and dreams. I certainly have them. I have goals, and expectations of my family, and for this blog, and a lot of other things. When those are not met of course I am disappointed. Having no expectations is no way to go through life. You only get one shot down here on earth so you do whatever it takes to be happy. If it is setting goals, daydreaming, or posting your own brand of bullshit over the internet, then that is what you should be doing
I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.
- What Is Your Why? (thehealthyhousewives.wordpress.com)
- Do what makes you happy (precioustheo.wordpress.com)
- Setting Goals (havenoftheheartfoundation.wordpress.com)
- The Hidden Obstacle to Massive Motivation and Productivity (lifehack.org)
- Jimmy V Week – Enthusiasm (thedrivesports.com)
- Self Motivation (imageuplifters.wordpress.com)
- 8 Ways to Stay Motivated (myallstatefinancial.com)
- 7 Tips On How To Get Motivated (massageenvy.com)
- 3 Keys For Success in Life (lifehack.org)
- Nurture your motivation (motivade.com)