He’s Not Heavy. He’s My Blogger
by Yvonne Nardone
My husband is Tom Nardone. Anyone in a relationship with a blogger might have the same issue as me. He is obsessed with blogging, but I think he is even more obsessed with bloggers. When I say obsessed I don’t mean He loves to play games or go to the gym (ha ha). I mean he has lost 40 pounds because he’s so busy blogging that he won’t stop to eat.
He not only blogs but now he has joined your community of bloggernaughts to interface with. For him It’s seemingly a blogger love gone cult. He knows and communicates way more online than in real life. But to Tom this is his real life. Don’t get me wrong I’m proud that he’s found a stage for his bizarre and controversial opinions. Blogging also makes him happy.
Tom is obsessed with his blogger stats and checks them like a 60 year old woman playing video poker. 300 hits is an all cherry day. His day is shot if people don’t like him or comment. I really liken it to a gambling addiction. Tom sits in front of his laptop after publishing a post, as if it were a video game. He used to bring me his laptop to show me a map of the world on goggle analytics, to brag to me about the wide span of his readers or as I will call them followers. “Hey babe! Check this out they love me in Australia” or “Hey babe! Look I am storming across Europe!!” He pretends not to care that I don’t read his all of his blog.
This happens to be true. I don’t read all of his blog. I think Tom is a brilliant writer and he connects well with his readers. The problem is that I have heard this shit a thousand times before, and since I don’t agree with half of the shit he says, I find it to be a reminder of the aggravation of his twisted and non-sense views. Sometimes when I read his blog I just want to pretend we are not related.
I have not been working, so I have enabled Tom to spend all of his free time on this. My Tom is ADD so I have been keeping track of the location of his wallet, and keys. I pay all the bills, I beg him to please bring me a load of laundry down to wash, and I am convinced that were it not for my involvement, that he would leave the house and go to work, with two unmatched shoes and not give a shit one way or the other.
I just bought him a new pair of shoes with the child-like Velcro straps (that I hate) which he insists on. Tom continued to wear this other pair of shoes that had holes in them because he says he likes them. I of course exercised my spousal privilege and threw them away. He cried like a girl about it. He actually said “Fine, I’m going to throw something away that you like to wear” Yah right! He doesn’t have the balls. I dare him to do it.
The only thing he has to do is put gas in his car and go to work for 40 hours a week. I have allowed this life style because I was laid off, but I am going back to work and Tom will have to become an adult.
Tom’s life is going to change dramatically. He will have to not only take the trash out to the garage, but also put a new bag in the can. He will have to match his own shoes and keep track of his own keys. He will even have to cook dinner as he will often get home before me. He will even have to take the initiative to put down his laptop long enough to take a shower, as I will not be here to prod him.
The truth is that Tom is a wonderful person, and he always steps-up just like he will when I start working. I have always known that I can depend on Tom to be there when I need him. He loves me more than anyone ever has, and it brings him to tears to see me disappointed in him.
It is also true that he is the funniest person I have ever seen when he gets mad. I am looking forward to the show.