Better Than a Date with Ned Hickson

tom on the toilet

I am Tom Nardone, and I just spent a week with Ned Hickson. I don’t know what you did last week but it was not as much fun as the time me and Ned had. Let me tell you what a great host he was.

Ned figuratively took me to places, and showed me things I never knew existed. He took me from the scene of the removal of a giant, dead whale from a beach, to the set of a country music video. He took me to the United States Olympic Winter Games in Utah. He managed to cover this with me in detail. The amazing part of this is he was never there himself. I still can’t figure out how he did this.

I will say without a doubt, my favorite place we went was on a guided tour of what is arguably the Holy Grail of automobiles. No I am not kidding. Ned took me onboard the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile. I don’t know what he did to find himself so well connected in the automobile industry, but he did not even seem to think it was that big of a deal.  If Ned Hickson took his dates to half the places he took me during his single years, he must have had the ladies standing in line for him.

Ned did not just take me to special places; he taught me things about the world. He spent time teaching me about the dangers of static electricity, and exploding cell phones, and he gave me tips and advice on how to avoid such dangers. He told me of the future of space travel, and how in the future we will be able to fly all the way around the earth. In great detail, he let me know about all the things to look out for and how much money I should expect to pay for such a flight.

He told me about exciting new products such as gecko-tape. Ned would not talk about it, but I think he is connected with NASA. I probably should not talk much about any of that.

Ned and I did not actually go to those places or anywhere for that matter. They were in his book. Ned has written a book called “Humor at the Speed of Life” I read his book, and I found out he cares an awful lot about me.

It isn’t just me he cares about. I think Ned cares about anyone as long as they have purchased his book. I will tell you something Ned does for all of his readers of “Humor at the speed of life” He does incredibly stupid things, but he doesn’t do them because he is stupid. He does stupid things for two reasons. One reason he does them is because he loves us. The other reason is so we don’t have to go through life not knowing of the true dangers found in places we would never ever suspect. I will give my favorite example.

He wore an eight hundred degree onion ring as a chin strap, which caused him to scream like a little girl as he drove down the I-5. I struggled with this one for a while and asked myself, why a man would do such a thing. The answer is because he loves us. I don’t know if I love anyone enough to do that, but If I ever find myself with a hot order of onion rings and get the inclination to wear one as a chin strap, I believe because of the things I learned from Ned I will decide against it.

I do not wish to give too much away, but you could do worse than to get a copy of “Humor at the Speed of Life” If you do you will have a reference book on life for which there is no equal, anywhere in the world. One of the most amazing things I noticed is how he was able to be so funny and he did not even use a single cuss word. To my mind, that alone makes him a magician.

In addition to Ned being a writer, he is a, hunter, fisherman, accomplished do-it-yourselfer, a fireman, and he can throw cheese curds farther than anyone I have ever seen. As far as athletics, well you just pick the sport and Ned will take you to school on this as well.

Yes you do indeed get the whole package when you get Ned Hickson. After the education I received from the pages of this book, I can only scarcely imagine how I was able to survive not knowing the things i did not know. It is your life though so you decide. You can either roll the dice, or you can point, click and wait for  “Humor at the Speed of Life” or as I like to call it, “Earth’s User Manual” because everyday without it, you…are…screwed.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

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One thought on “Better Than a Date with Ned Hickson

  1. Ned's Blog

    Dear Tom —
    Thank you for this amazing review. To be honest, until reading it, I didn’t fully appreciate the impact this book would have on the daily lives of so many people. At least while they’re on the commode. Which reminds me: you should really avoid eating cheese curds.

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