I was going into a local sporting goods store recently to buy some ammo for my pellet rifle. As I was walking through the store I noticed a button up shirt hanging on the rack. I noticed it because I was wearing the exact same shirt complete with a small tag under the pocket that read “Columbia”. I could not figure out what my shirt was doing in the asshole section of a retail sporting goods store.
I just could not get past it. A shirt I was wearing was actually coveted by people who didn’t shop for their clothes at Goodwill. I knew the shirt I was wearing came from Goodwill because Goodwill is the only place my wife is allowed to buy my clothes. I have told my wife, (nicely) “OK if you must by clothes for me, then fine. I don’t want you to shop anywhere but goodwill.” (underwear she gets retail)
I love the shit at Goodwill. If you know me then you must also know how importantly I value my personal appearance. I always strive to look neat and sharp at all times. Wow, I almost wrote that without laughing. Honestly, I don’t even stop to look in the mirror before I leave the house.
I was shocked to discover the shirt I was wearing that cost me only $3.00, was hanging on the rack waiting for an asshole who could not think of a better way to spend $69.00 to come along and decide he could not live without it. I looked around some more and found that shirts bearing this name and others were going for anywhere from $20 to $131.00.
While I think it is wrong for retailers to take advantage of stupid people, I have to say I found this impressive. I saw jackets for two and three hundred dollars, shoes for two hundred, and visors? Why in the shit do people wear visors? I think it is because visors are easier to find than T-shirts that say, “Hi I am an asshole!” I believe men who wear visors also are the same ones who wear scarfs in the winter.
It is no secret why this shit costs so much; it is the name and/or logo prominently featured on the item. I guess the thinking among these people is there is no point in paying two hundred dollars for a shirt if the rest of the world cannot see that you have paid two hundred dollars for a shirt. If you are that person, then yes, I am referring to you when I say asshole.
I realize, I too, wear a few shirts bearing the names of fashionable clothing manufactures, and I will continue to do so, if the price stays at three dollars a shirt. I won’t go out of my way to avoid these items simply on principal. My wife buys the shit, I wear the shit.
I have never complained about one thing my wife has brought home from Goodwill for two reasons. One is of course I just don’t care what I wear, and the other is if I complained, then she could make a pretty good case for getting me to leave the house and go clothes shopping with her. Fuck that noise.
I imagine if nothing has changed then it is still the case in middle schools and high schools across the country. Many kids would only hang around other kids on the basis of the clothes they wore. You had to have this kind of jeans or this kind of jacket to be accepted. I do understand the pressure of our peers in school, but I also understand the biggest assholes in our country can be found in our high schools.
There are names I will proudly wear. I love my Iron Maiden shirts. I love all the shirts I have from rock shows I have attended. I have a shirt displaying a truck with a donkey in the back, that reads, “Haulin Ass”, and as many of you know I love my onesie pajamas. These things identify me as an individual.
One of my favorite people on the internet is the Extreme Mom. She has a massive following. I have been reading her for a long time, and we have become good friends. She has recently opened an online store and has made available to her fans, T-shirts, aprons, and some other things. I plan to buy a coffee cup from her, and yes I am going to pay more for that coffee cup than I normally would. I am going to buy this cup only because it bears the name “Extreme Mom” I think she is funny, interesting, and have grown to love her site and her group. I don’t know who manufactured her coffee cups and I don’t give a shit.
I know many of my good friends whom I love, own clothes that say, Nike, Adidas, Levi, Columbia, or The North Face. I do too. This does not make you, or I, an asshole. All I am saying is if you are going to pay insane prices for something just because of the name it bears, perhaps you would be better off picking a name for something you give a shit about. Pick a name for something you love. Pick a name for something for which you are passionate. It just beats the Hell out of a name other people pretend to give a shit about too.
I am Tom Nardone and You are welcome
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