I was driving home in traffic the other day and was mad as Hell at the level of chaos. I thought it would be nice to live in a world without traffic. I pondered what it would be like if I was the only person on earth.
One day I wake up and all of the people are just gone. I am literally the last man on the earth. What would I do?
I would not write on my blog because there would be nobody to read it and inflate my ego by showering with me with praises and accolades. I would not play my guitar, or be interested in any type of art. I mean what if I turned out to be an amazing painter and there was no one to tell me so. What would be the point of it then?
I already have a house, but I suppose I would go out and move into a nicer house someone else, who worked harder than I did, once owned. I would deal with all the survival crap blah blah blah. My point is to cover the important thing, which is, what would I do for fun? How would I entertain myself because isn’t that the point of living?
If I were to become the solitary man, then I would have to do something to entertain myself. I am reasonably sure, I would do what any immature man with no ambition, hopes, dreams or drive would do. I would pretend the entire world, just became my own personal playground and I would travel around it destroying shit. I would destroy shit on a scale I could never have conceived. because it’s fun
Now that I am hell-bent on destroying shit, I would have to dress the part. I am now living in a make believe world I think the only appropriate attire would be the Alqueda-Wear, perhaps something from their Jihad line.
I would probably begin this on day one. I would wake up, get into my car and head to a gas station. I would fill up a five-gallon gas can and visit an upper end subdivision. I would burn one house down right away just to get my creativity primed. Then it’s is time set up the whole subdivision, and rig it so that when one house began to burn it would trigger the next and the next house. I would fire up the grill and throw a steak on and drink a beer at night as I watched this from a safe distance. In my head the houses would burn much the same way dominoes fall.
When arson lost its glimmer, I would go out and find a dump truck. I would drive it into the subdivision and map out a route. Once my route was memorized I would crank this beast up and just “go ham” on every house in the neighborhood. I would rip though houses, fences, sheds and not stop until it was all gone, or until my dump truck died. When houses no longer quenched my thist for adventure I would probably take the dump truck into the city and drive through any building with a glass storefront. I can imagine no greater thrill than driving a dump truck through the mall
I don’t know how long the town I live in could sustain my interest. I would eventually have to take a road trip to New York or Chicago, because this is where the really big buildings are. I remember as a kid we used to go into the woods and cut big, giant, tall trees down just to watch them fall. I would just kick this idea up a notch. I cannot imagine the thrill of watching a high-rise building (in which their are no people) fall in a city and just destroy the other buildings as it roars through the air on its way to the ground. Since many of the really big buildings are made from steel, glass an concrete, I don’t think I would have much luck with my gas can, or my dump truck. I suppose going down to the army base and figuring out how to operate a tank would be more practical. I think i would have plenty of time to learn this.
I suppose I would spend the rest of my life on this rampage, maybe traveling city to city, always in search of bigger buildings. I would conquer any structure standing in my way. The mere existence such things would stand in defiance of my reason for being earths only representative.
If I am the only person on earth, then I have the only vote. I make all the decisions, and I decide what is right wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. I am justified by everyone because I am now the law.
I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.
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