For those of you who have not heard I am in the hospital. When I went into work yesterday, I was feeling very nauseous and full as if I had just eaten. While at work, I had to dash into the janitor’s closet. I thought I would vomit but luckily, it was only the dry heaves. I have not thrown up since the sixth grade, and I am rather proud of this run.
I left work to go to the doctor. After speaking to the doctor, he ordered X-rays. It was a half-hour later and to my surprise, he came back into my room with an explanation. The Doctor said I had an intestinal blockage, and it should be dealt with as soon as possible.
I asked him to call Yvonne to have her pick me up and drive me to the hospital. I always have Yvonne involved when it comes to any medical situations. She considers herself a medical professional even though she got her degree from the University of Google.
The main reason I wanted Yvonne to pick me up, and drive me to the Hospital, was because it all sounded like a terrible inconvenience to me. I was not interested in dealing with the hospital personnel, or answering questions when I got there. I also did not want to have to write down directions or figure out where I was supposed to go.
It was an hour later and still no Yvonne. The doctor’s office is literally a quarter of a mile from our house. The doctor called again to the house and ten minutes later Brett shows up as my wheelman. Yvonne or the doctor misspoke or misheard each other because Yvonne ended up at the hospital, sitting in the room I would soon occupy.
Brett knew exactly where to go and he took me to the front door where we were met by Yvonne. When I got there, it was as if the entire nursing staff had been waiting for my arrival. We went to room 220 and I stripped down and put on my robe with the open back. I hate this robe Yvonne won’t let me wear any underwear because she wants me to be ready, just in case they come back and decide to do the enema.
After a CT Scan it was determined that my problem was the result of inflammation of the small intestine. So congratulations to all of my bastard followers and readers who said I was full of shit. You were all correct.
I have to tell you though this is day two and I am really starting to get a little bit annoyed. The excitement of my first hospital visit has worn off. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go home where my Xbox and the rest of my toys are. I am not hungry right now but I find myself wanting to eat just because I can’t eat. I was also very pleased that my best friend Jason Bennett came by to see me.
I am going to be OK. It looks as if everything is fine. I appreciate all the smart-ass comments from my Facebook friends and friends of my site. You all have made my stay here easier through your comments and your attention. I love every one of you and it was awesome to wake up to your comments this morning. I will keep you posted on the I am Tom Nardone FB page.
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