Don’t Be Silly! Nobody is Raping Mother Earth!!!!


Well then I guess the Unicorns will just have to die

There is an idea that has been buzzing around for years now that we should all work together, and help to “Save the Planet” by recycling all of our discarded refuse. I don’t have a problem with people doing this. People should feel free to do whatever they want with their own garbage, but there are those people who have to make our lives unbearable.

They just have a need to be heard. They have a need to talk about it, and tell us what we should do with our trash. Some even have a need to spout off statistics about how many trees have to die for some newspaper to be printed. They seem to have no tolerance for those of us who have more pressing things to worry about.

You will never find a recycle bin in my front yard. Apparently the type of recycling that I do is not considered recycling by the recycling elitists. Here is the cycle:

1.cdiksdj I buy a can of soda

2. toddler coke1I drink a can of soda.

3.hdjkhfkjsd I toss it out of my car.

4. images (1)One of the dregs of our society who got assigned community service stabs it with a stick, and puts it in a bag.

I feel that what I do prevents these DUI sons-of-bitches from sitting around on their asses with nothing to do all day, and these people have the audacity to call this littering.

The truth is; I don’t recycle because it is a BIG pain in my ass. I am ADHD. I do not trade on that fact, and I don’t consider it an excuse for me to neglect my responsibilities. I choose to neglect the things that I deem unnecessary.

Nevertheless, I do well to remember one place to throw my garbage. I have trouble organizing my own life and the things I use every day. I am damn sure not going worry about organizing my own trash that I am all finished with. That includes my compact fluorescent light bulbs (which I love). I just don’t give a shit.

Picture3There are those who have a fear that every time you throw away a piece of plastic, a unicorn dies, but if you recycle it then the planet becomes just a little bit greener. I do not judge them. I just don’t want to join them when they head out to attend the Earth Day celebration. I am fine with their decision to trek across the country in their electric car, holding hands, and singing “This land is your Land”. All I ask is that they not tell me about it when they get back.

Not everyone who recycles is an asshole, but one thing I have noticed is that the majority of people I know that recycle are doing so out of guilt.

This guilt is for leaving their children to grow up in a world that has been stripped of certainbus resources. They have guilt that the earth will be hopelessly destroyed and/or poisoned. I believe their guilt is grossly misplaced, and I do not feel the least bit obligated to do shit about it.

Some of you may be carrying this guilt. I know the burden of that, for you, may be heavy. I want you to take that burden, and toss it out the window. Trust me! Someone else will pick it up. Your guilt is unwarranted. None of this is our fault. Our parents are to blame.

My parents and your parents did not give a shit about this planet. They didn’t recycle. They didn’t worry about any of us not having what we need to survive. They littered and burned as much fossil fuel as they damn well wanted to, and so did their parents. In all of the littering, tire fires, oil fires, chemical spills, and oil spills, I can’t with any real conviction say that I felt the sting of it this week. I am doing pretty well as far as I can tell.

Their negligence has lit a fire under our collective asses to create many wonderful products such as; LED light bulbs, solar panels, electric cars (which are complete bullshit), and so on. Let me say that a different way. If it were not for the reckless neglect of our parents treating the planet like their own personal garbage can, we would have been denied the benefit of some really great innovations that have made our world what it is. So what does this mean to us? I will tell you what it means in the words of my brother Phillip Nardone who I once heard say “The world is my ash tray”.

If you think about it every drop of oil you pour into the rainforests of the earth is paving the way for technology to flourish. Every CFL light bulb that you haphazardly toss into your garbage can or out of a window is helping in some small way to make this world better by enticing scientists to come up with awesome products. Your negligence may be what truly saves the planet. Here is a real life example:

tire-fire21Car tires, which are a petroleum-based product, for years piled up and no one knew what to do with them. They would catch fire and burn for weeks. They would cast pollution into the air. We later discovered that if they were to chop them up into small pieces, that they would be a great mulch substitute for the yards and playgrounds of America.

Every American who discarded their tires helped little kids have a place to play. Because of your negligence kids across this great country got exercise and learned valuable social skills that made them better people.

recycle thisThese “earth first” hippies would rather smack these kids off of a swing set with the back of their hands, rather than participate in what we have seen make this country a place to be proud of.

You see, one generation screws us over, and then the next generation figures it out! That is the cycle of life. From tire fires to happy children we did that America. You should be proud!

Everything on earth came from the earth. Therefore everything on earth is natural. What some people call littering or pollution, I call relocating. We take natural resources from the earth and refine them, use them, and then we put them back into the earth when we are finished with them. That seems simple enough to me.

recycle-this-288x300So the next time you are in the grocery store and they say “Will that be paper or plastic?” You proudly say “Plastic”. Say it with you head held high knowing that you are the one who is truly helping this planet, and not the tree hugging bastards that are only stunting its growth, and hurting it’s children with their paper bags and their so-called responsibility.

Recycle if it makes you feel better, but I feel great,

If you want to get further notifications of other classes,

please register at the Iamtomnardone University 

tom1I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.


24 thoughts on “Don’t Be Silly! Nobody is Raping Mother Earth!!!!

  1. Pingback: Swearing is Caring, and I Care a Shitload | Hey Joe! Online

  2. ksbeth

    i love this and by the way i threw away my carryout coffee cup this morning rather than reusing it and making it into a piece of high fashion jewelry, so i guess that makes me an earth killer too )


  3. jadereyner

    Oh Tom…. you are officially the wackiest person that I know but I am always fascinated by the fact that (a) your blogs are inherently clever and (b) I end up with a smile on my face at the end! This was no exception and only you could put a positive spin on not recycling. I love the fact that you have flipped the whole debate and decided that you are actually doing a better job of saving our planet than anyone else by not recycling. I recycle what I can because I am told to and to be honest, have never given it much thought but your point of view is brilliant and as ever, I am in awe *has fingers crossed behind back* ! I am considering making you my favourite blogger…….. Oh, by the way, did you catch my shameless, self promoting interview?? 🙂


  4. Big Blogger of Knowledge

    While I like the idea of recycling, I’m personally too damn lazy to participate – and that’s if I believed recycling really did anything.

    It’s well-intentioned and definitely a step in the right direction, but this petty level of recycling we have going on in green suburbia ain’t going to save humanity. It’s just flapping our wings a little harder as we careen off a cliff.


  5. Valentine Logar

    There are things I recycle because it is no skin off my nose, doesn’t hurt me or cause me great pain. There are other things, well it simply is too much work. I am with you.

    Then there are things I work hard at, I work hard at them because in some way they will benefit me greatly or harm someone else that I don’t like. Or both.

    1. Legalization of industrial Marijuana (Hemp). This is a great product. Hemp can replace most petroleum based products (plastics) and is biodegradable. This would mean many companies today would either have to change or they would go out of business! The very same companies that got Marijuana, including Industrial Hemp put on the drug list in the first place (those asshats).

    2. I use reusable bags for nearly everything. Grocery shopping, I use them because I get .05 cents off for every single bag. If I don’t take one of their plastic bags I get a discount. I am big on money off. I love money off. I shop at three different stores, they do not care whose reusable bags I use so long as I bring my own. I keep my bags in the car and always take them in the store with me. Money in my pocket!

    3. Fight against mountain top removal. I hate coal companies who destroy the landscape, just hate them. I want mountains to keep their tops, I want the landscape to remain as it is unless it is a volcano and blows all on its own, thats cool.

    4. I don’t mind at all throwing paper and boxes into the big recycle bin the city gave me. They want me to do it, they gave me the bin for it and it doesn’t require any effort. I order lots of things off the internet (books, clothing, golf clubs for husband). Putting boxes into seperate bin means my regular garbage doesn’t fill up to overflowing before garbage day.

    As usual Tom, you did an excellent job of expressing your disdain! Pick your battles wisely and then stick to them.


    1. iamtomnardone Post author

      Wow Val.
      Thanks for the in depth comments and the kind words.

      I appreciate your efforts to comment on my post, but it looks like you have a post of your own here. You should consider that.

      Thanks again Wonder Woman



  6. BakoRamblinDad

    Pffft hahaha well said, sir. Although I do recycle bottles and cans, this was a great read from start to finish. I hear ya. And kudos to TTA for not getting offended, which is what too many people do these days.


      1. theofficialTTA

        Haha, thanks! I have just screenshot this “pretty cool lady” comment and will be showing it to my friends shortly. Modesty is obviously not one of my best qualities.


        1. iamtomnardone Post author

          oh i see you already caught that.I am the least modest person i know. I asked my wife tonight was is it like to be in the presence of such awesome awesomeness. I don’t know if you are even awesome enough to comprehend that much awesomeness. She said “good night Tom”


  7. theofficialTTA

    Although your post went against everything I wrote about in my post, I found your article very entertaining and humorous. And although the ping-back was probably done more so as a “check out these recycling hippies” kind of way, I appreciate it nonetheless. I also appreciate how you stood by your non-recycling morals and the way you adamantly stood up and voiced your opinion. Cheers!


    1. iamtomnardone Post author

      Hey I am glad you found this entertaining and by no means was I referencing you or any of the other sites I linked as militant hippy wackos.

      The purpose of this was to entertain and I am thrilled that is has done so for you. I also appreciate and admire your ability to see this.

      I write exagerated opinions about things to entertain people. I only write for that purpose.

      I would also be happy to remove your link from my site if you wish. In any case I have absolutely no expectation of you keeping my link on your site.

      Thanks for taking time ITTA it was nice to meet you.


          1. iamtomnardone Post author

            if you read my other posts you would not have taken this one seriously at all. i recommend if you get a chance you should read Smart Money w/ Tom Nardone



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