Fore Score and Seven Years Ago, In a Galaxy Far Far Away…….

stormI have absolutely no interest in the study of history. Throughout history, and even today, there have been two kinds of people in the world. There are the winners and there are the losers. Can you guess which group got to write the history books?

Rome’s first King, King Romulous, in 800 BC (allegedly) defeated the Etruscan army. Do youdavid-eger-365-days-of-clones-1 think that upon their victory he said “Hey guys, guys hey whew!!! Alright good job everyone.  You fought well. Now listen up! We are going leave those two sons of bitches over there alive so that the history of the ages can be preserved. By allowing their side of this ass-whipping to be recorded, we are making ourselves the administers of objectivity.”

Uhhhhh No, not even close.

They grabbed those two men, and rammed a sword up their asses. They then, went home to tell their tales of victory to their wives and children, unchallenged by anyone. My point is that dead people also don’t get to write the history books. It is the luxury afforded to the Living, and/or the Victors.

his·to·ri·an /hiˈstôrēən/ A person skilled in the art of converting bullshit to income.

I have a little bit of contempt for most historians. Historians talk about things that they canth only pretend to be experts on. They talk about events and people with such belief, passion, and certainty, that I think they believe they were there to watch the thing unfold before their eyes.

They somehow know how people felt or what people were thinking. They seem to know why people did the things they did. Historians even seem to have a keen insight into the lives of people who lived hundreds of years ago. They know everything about them: sense of humor, temperament, and personality.

storm abeI have read where they said to what degree George Washington, loved Martha. How in the Hell could they know that Martha was not some caniving bitch or a constant pain in the ass? How do they know that George Washington did not chop down that cherry tree because he had some insane fear of hanging fruit?

They don’t. It is all just speculation. Speculation is just nicely packaged bullshit. I have friends that I could not tell you as much about. My only response to any of them is blah blah blah, go fuck yourself.

It is not Logical

People have no evidence to support their belief in what is going on TODAY! How can they be so certain about things that came to pass, hundreds of years ago?

As a child, I heard my own parents, while watching the news, argue with the television; saying “Oh that is just bullshit” or “Yah right”. Many Americans who watch the news feel like they are not getting the truth. According to the Gallup poll 60% of Americans don’t believe what they hear on the news, or 60% of Americans don’t believe what they heard happened yesterday. Why then, do they believe, what they heard happened a hundred or two hundred, or even a thousand years ago. It is not logical.

Lights!, Camera!, Action!

mao-stormtroopersSo why do so many people continue to show an interest in history? I think it is the same reason why people fall in love with any other fictional tale. They just enjoy the stories or the characters. They are just inspired by them. If you think about it there really is no difference in studying history or studying literature; a beginning, a conflict, a resolution, and an end.

I also enjoy movies based on history. For that two hour period of time, I accept that these were real people, doing real things, in a real world. I believe for those two hours, that I am looking back in time and seeing how things were before the world was what I know it as today. I did this for the movie “Lincoln” I thought that it was an amazing movie. I enjoyed seeing the kind of person that Abraham Lincoln was. I enjoyed seeing how he strategized to push his agenda through congress. That is for the 2 hours while that movie was playing. During the movie it was easier, and more enjoyable to just watch the story and believe it.

Some might say “Well then, that makes you a hypocrite Tom.” to them I would say ”You can go to Hell. I did the same thing for Star Wars”. I just believed it.

We love to feel good. Everything we do and say is for that purpose. Where and how people live is for the purpose of wanting to feel good. There is nothing wrong with that. That is what everybody does. Americans are no exception, we love to feel good. In this country we are nothing if not innovators, and we have cracked the feel good code. We do what we can do and when things aren’t as we would like them to be, we bullshit ourselves.

It has been working for years, we make up bullshit; we even pass this along to our children in20091016history01-550x454 our schools to make them grow up proud of their heritage. No one knows what the truth about our country’s history really is, so they write some up that we can be proud of and write songs about. We play these songs at tough times during our country’s darkest hours. The media is a wonderful instrument for this. They have been in the bullshit business since the invention of ink.

I am not saying that I disagree with the Idea of telling yourself something that you have no idea is true or not. I have no problem with people rewriting history. I just think that it is foolish to lend it any more credibility than other literary works of the ages just because a large part of our society is buying it.

We all heard the story of Christopher Columbus in grade school. I take the story of Christopher Columbus discovering America with the same reverence that I take the story of Harry Potter surviving his attack by Voldemort. I believe about as many of the alleged facts of the Kennedy assassination as I do the alleged facts of Darth Vader actually being Luke’s father.

Our written history is just layers of bullshit, written to entertain and inspire. I am glad that it has done that. You might ask “Well what is the harm in that?” I would say “Nothing at all”

I don’t really see the harm in people believing a lie for the purpose of feeling good and being happy. I just find the fact that people devote their lives or careers to things other people did years ago, a little sad. Yah there is allegedly a lot of bad shit that has happened over the course of history. Why must we dwell on it.

Dwelling on the past is like looking into a rear view mirror. This mirror will get bigger and bigger as we see more and more of the things than may or may not have happened over the ages; until one day that mirror gets to be so big that you cannot see the world in front of you. I don’t want to live in the past.

The truth is I would really like to know all of these things. I am as curious as the next person about how things got the way they are. These stories were written long ago, and I do enjoy most of them. They are inspiring, and they are heroic, but the likelihood of their truth is too ridiculous to imagine.

I cannot just push the “I Believe” button. I cannot study history because I don’t even accept history as history. I accept history as 100% speculation, and I just don’t care enough to speculate. Besides; think about all the things that have allegedly happened over the last 1000 years. There have been wars, floods, famine, disasters, and, disease. People have been killed, beaten, raped, tortured, lost, found, and dismembered.  Cities have risen and cities have fallen. I will just ask you this. How has any of that affected your life this week?

Our past is not our future.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.


14 thoughts on “Fore Score and Seven Years Ago, In a Galaxy Far Far Away…….

  1. prayingforoneday

    Good read and good points!! Who wrote history, love it..
    Why I have a tough time believing the Bible. 4,000 year old book written by whom for what reasons? Just saying..

    Recent history is cool, we can see it on TV

    Good blog!


    1. @iamtomnardone Post author

      Glad you liked it Shaun. I have not watched the news in so long. I don’t even believe what i see anymore. If I did believe what i saw than I would probably be trying to enroll in the Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.


  2. bossymoksie

    I think they are just nerds that are interested in another tima and place.
    I do think valentine has a point about learning from the past. Do we really need to know how much Washington loved his wife or if he liked watching polo matches through his bedroom window while eating chocolate icecream? Not so much.


  3. Valentine Logar

    Well done, I especially like the pictures you used to illustrate your points. Now as a person that likes history to illustrate just how f’d up people are, I have to say we should learn from it so as not to repeat the really bad parts of it. This is true weather we are talking about our personal history or grander more global history.

    For example, I would really prefer not to do something really stupid again (like remarry my ex husband thankfully he is dead and I paid to have him buried even though I was already divorced from him my children thought I was rude when I suggested they simply let him rot at the morgue…no I did not actually say that to them).

    Another example, I would really prefer not to have an atom bomb dropped anywhere in the world. I would hope after the last two we have learned sufficiently the terrible fallout of this type of action and that others have these weapons now and could potentially drop one or one hundred on us in retaliation that this would be a bad choice.

    So I think history is very good to learn from. Yes the winners get to write a great deal of it. Sometimes though the losers get to write some of it. Sometimes, their writing survives and we have the opportunity to read it (after the winners are dead). Then we can compare and evaluate.

    You make great points. I love your sarcasm. Keep doing this.


        1. iamtomnardone Post author

          K I am the person Tom Nardone will be, 7 minutes from now. You can think of me as “Tom Soon”

          I really appreciate your reading my post. and taking the time to comment. I am glad we met.

          Just a note. This is what Tom’s sentiments will be in 7 minutes. act surprized.


          1. ksbeth

            i just a few minutes, i’ll be happy to have met you tom soon, you sound like you must be from asia somewhere with that last name )

            i will be beth later , (possibly a swede?), and happy we have crossed crazy and interesting paths ) b


  4. jadereyner

    OK…. I’m with you on this one to a point. At the beginning I thought you were just having a dig at historians and I was wondering what on earth they had ever done to you. Then as the post went on I got the message (yes, a bit late I know!) and I understand! And regardless of how you may see yourself and you always write your posts with sarcasm and self deprecation (traits that I have myself in abundance), actually I think your posts are clever and this one is no exception. At the end you are basically illustrating that we should not live in the past, regardless of what history says and that we should all look to the future. I am completely with you on that, although I have to say my past does still colour how I live now which shouldn’t be the case – I know! So after that rather rambling comment, I’d just like to say – excellent. Very enjoyable as always and I love decoding your posts, you do make my day! 🙂


    1. iamtomnardone Post author

      Thanks for always reading and weighing in. Your comments on what I do are received with more excitement then anyone else that follows me. You always make me laugh my ass off.

      I am honored that you enjoy my posts so much and don’t take this as me being modest because I am sucking up every word.

      I really do believe in my heart that I am a better writer as a result of our friendship and I love reading your posts. I am proud of you for getting your 100th follower. Great Job. Maybe one day you will say “AHHH screw writing my next book. I am going on …..(wait for it)……The Blog Tour”


      1. jadereyner

        You’re assuming that I have the technical know-how to do a blog tour…! And if I don’t write the next book, I may be lynched by a few people..! Having said that, I’m glad you feel that our friendship has benefitted you – now to benefit me, all you need to do is sell 100 copies of my book. Deal?? 🙂




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