ADD | You Will Find What You Look For.

,So Why Don’t You Just Look for an Adventure

tom1

There is a lot written on ADD/ADHD. To be honest, I don’t read most of it. The reason for this is that I find most (not all) of them incredibly boring. They are quite typical; list the symptoms, list the medication and/or treatment options, and then  offer a supportive wish you well, or good luck on their blogs which are covered with advertisements. They also almost always address ADD as a problem, and a problem only. I feel by doing this they are scaring and misinforming there readers.

 The majority of these articles are written by doctors. Doctors are used to treating problems, so I guess it would stand to reason that they should write about ADD in that context. There are two types of people who write these articles; Doctors and those with ADD. I think most people feel better reading something written by a doctor, rather than by someone with ADD. Because if a doctor said it, than it can’t be wrong.  Don’t kid yourself. Believe it or not, sometimes doctors are wrong. They are only human, and while doctor written articles can be informative, and important, they are seldom inspiring. I write on ADD to inspire, encourage, and mostly to entertain people who are frantic or fearful of this dreaded title.

So, allow me to inspire you.

English: Albert Einstein Français : Portrait d...

So, you or loved one is messy….. Albert Einstein said “A messy desk is a sign of a genius.” I will tell you that I have been living in my home for seven years and my wife would tell you that I have been cleaning it for that exact amount of time. I would say that the only thing in my life that is organized is this website.

So, what about daydreaming? Is it necessarily a bad thing all of a sudden for someone to have an active or creative mind? People say that people with ADD have trouble paying attention. I’m sure some teachers feel better believing that. The truth is that people with ADD have trouble paying attention to things that are not interesting to them. Is it a teachers job to teach the class, or is their job just to simply stand up and read the lesson plan each week?  Ask your son or daughter to explain to you, everything they learned in school that day. Then ask them to tell you about a video game they play. See what takes longer.

Yes, children with ADD blurt out whatever they might be thinking. I would rather know what is on my kid’s mind, rather than wonder. That beats the absolute shit out of trying to pry information from them. Parents will know your child better as a result of this. While there blurts might not be appropriate sometimes, they will always be entertaining. Try embracing that, rather than snuffing it out. You know how many parents have kids that won’t talk to them? Too many.

So, your loved one is over-sensitive. I really fail to see a downside to this. Parents with ADD kids know better than anyone, that some kids are mean little bastards. So, you get down on your hands and knees and thank God for your child’s “Over-sensitivity” I spent years in school being picked on. My fellow students seemed to enjoy picking on me more than recess. My entire elementary career was an absolute daily hell. I would rather not ever believe that a child of mine was inflicting that same pain on another child.

You have a choice. You can decide that you or your loved one has a problem that will complicate their life. You can constantly remind them that they have some handicap that prevents them from being more than they are. You can continue feeling sorry for them, crying for them, or wishing they were not the way they are, thereby reinforcing the stigma that so many others have drilled into their heads there whole life. You can deny them medication because you are worried about what the other asshole parents will think about your parenting skills.

OR

You can have a backbone. You can tell your friends, your piers, your family, or anyone else who believes them less than what they are to just go to hell. You can stand up and be a proud and supportive parent, husband, wife, Mom, or Dad. You can realize that “The Fleas come with the dog” If you believe them inferior, they will believe it too.  You can realize that you are lucky that you have someone that will never fall into the cookie cutter mentality of believing that the things they do, and say should be decided based on what is done by the “NORMAL PEOPLE”. I think the thing I would least like to be is ordinary.

I think people with ADD are, in many ways, that which some others are afraid to be. Some normal people don’t want to change out of their pajamas to go to the store, but they do. Some normal people want to tell other people what they think, or how they feel, but they don’t. They sit there quietly worrying about what others might think. They are afraid to be who they are.

Lifes Highway (1)Those of us with ADD will go down our own path. We will eventually get down life’s highway, but we will stop at many exits where we will create moments, and have adventures, but nothing in life is worth doing, if it must be done alone or in the absence of the people we love and care for.

So, your loved one has ADD. I will give you the best advice that anyone could ever give you, and that is quite simply this. “Enjoy the ride.”

I am Tom Nardone and You Are Welcome.

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22 thoughts on “ADD | You Will Find What You Look For.

  1. Pingback: I am Tom Nardone, I Went to School, My ADD Was Untreated. | I AM TOM NARDONE

  2. Pingback: ADD | You Will Find What You Look For. | We Are ADD

  3. Amanda

    I love that you use the word normal using quotes around it. We don’t call people without ADHD normal. We refer to them as “neuro-typical” people. I have ADD and I have an 11 year old with ADHD and Asperger’s. I love your blog; I, too, was relentlessly harassed in school for being “dumb” and “weird”. I hated every minute of it, but the good thing that has come out of it is that I’ve taught my 3 children how to NEVER, EVER treat anyone. EVER.

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    1. iamtomnardone Post author

      Wow Amanda, Thanks for that! I have told my step son that if I ever heard of him tormenting another student at school that would wish that i had never met him. I told him that bad grades or behavior problems would be dealt with but if I found out that he was making fun of another kid I would show him what it felt like until he no longer felt good enough about himself to make fun of others. Brett is not that kid though. He finds himself while being fairly popular at school, befriending the lesser liked kids because he also has no interest in being friends with an asshole.

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  4. ksbeth

    i could not agree more. love the swearing too, gives it a stronger feel )

    p.s. one of my daughter’s boyfriends was taking a psych class in college. when i saw him on the weekend he said to my daughter, ‘hey heidi, we were talking about add in class and immediately all i could think about was that was what you and your mom both have!” he’s probably right, and i took it as a compliment, i’ve always just called myself an ‘extreme multi-tasker-focuser’. so i guess she and i are, emtf’s!

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    1. portholio

      The family would not have you guys any other way.

      Tom, this is perfect. I can’t bear the thought of someone being teased so badly, it’s just so cruel. Thanks.

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      1. portholio

        I’ve always told my boys that that the only things i want of them is to grow up kind and happy. Sounds like you are both.

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  5. Pingback: ADD | You Will Find What You Look For. | add-adhd-info

  6. athenahm

    Dude. 1) Great note. Going to share when my internet is moving at least as fast as dial-up. 2)Solidarity in grief, my friend. It doesn’t have to have been yesterday to hurt quite a lot.

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  7. Valentine Logar

    I loved this and thank you very much for writing it. I have several friends who are ADD, they are funny, creative, pains in my ass. I love them exactly the way they are. Wouldn’t have them any other way.

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    1. iamtomnardone Post author

      Thank you Val.

      It was a pleasure to write this. It is one of the best things I have written. On my other site it has been my most widely read article. I am an administrator for the Attention Deficit Disorder page on facebook. This article has made a difference in peoples live and for that I could not be more pleased. I didn’t know what ADD was until my boss who was firing me at the time explained it to me.(while he was firing me)

      I am currently writing a book about my life and my struggles, and victories with this. I am still not sure if i want to write a whole book. I have finished the first two chapters and mentally it has been more painful than I imagined. Rehashing all that shit is not easy. If it helps even one person it will be worth it to me.

      Again though i really appreciate your taking time to read this. I really had a tough day. today is my fathers Birthday he would have been 55 today. I needed to hear something positive thanks for being there

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      1. Valentine Logar

        I am sorry Tom. I know what it is to miss someone who is no longer with us. I miss my Mom and Dad nearly every day. I find it helps me to remember how fabulous they were, even on days like this, on days when I miss them most.

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