The Dishwasher | A Useless Chunk of Shit



My wife is of the opinion that the dishes need to be washed before they go into the dishwasher. I of course think that is stupid. The dishwasher’s job is to wash the dishes. If the dishwasher is unable to do this then the dishwasher is a useless piece of shit, and it is time to shit-can it,  and replace it with a cabinet so we have more space to store all the pots and pans that never seem to be able to fit into the cabinet the same way twice.(that is such bullshit)

My wife always asks me “Hey Tom, Did you run the dishwasher?” LOOK! The damn dishwasher should never be run until it is completely, and absolutely full. Not half full, not almost full, but full full. It costs money to run a dishwasher and as my wife has mentioned before; I am one cheap bastard. I have plenty of things that I enjoy wasting my money on. Running an empty dishwasher is not on the list.dishwasher

My dishwasher has cost me more than just on the electric bill. 2 Years ago my dishwasher bent be over the kitchen counter and drilled me right in the ass. The assholes at the factory over tightened a screw.  My dishwasher leaked behind the cabinets, and that led to my hardwood floors in the hallway to be destroyed. Luckily, I am Tom Nardone, and I was able to fix the leak, but can you just guess what the bastards at the insurance company told us when we tried to make a claim on our home owners insurance? Yes, and not only was it not covered but they raised our premiums for even attempting to make a claim

I don’t wash my clothes before I throw them in the washer, I don’t cook a turkey before I toss it in the oven, so I don’t think it is too much to expect to not have to wash my dishes before they go into the dishwasher. I am not the only one who believes this. Some friends of mine from Ohio just sent me an article that says it is not necessary, even for health reasons.(click here) (Thank you Mike and Patty) This article won’t make any difference in this house though. My wife won’t care about it. Hell she doesn’t even read any of the shit I write so I will have to just continue to take it in the shorts

Lastly, most people who use dishwashers don’t even need them. If you have kids between the ages of 10 and 18, well, there are your dishwashers. What a great way for them to contribute to the household than to do the dishes by hand. It will teach many values that will serve them as they get older; you know, before they turn 18 and their heads miraculously emerge from their asses and then they know more than you do. I know I know you already make your kids wash the dishes. If you are letting them use the dishwasher then I disagree with that because you know and I know they will load dirty dishes into a dishwasher that already has clean dishes in it because they don’t want to unload it. The way we know that is that it is the same shit we used to pull when it was our job.

Tom Nardone


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